Sunday

Funniest jokes in Oscar history

Ellen DeGeneres

Before actor Neil Patrick Harris takes the stage to host the 87th Academy Awards, we take a look back at the most humorous lines uttered by its hosts in history.

 Possibility No. 1: 12 Years A Slave wins best picture. Possibility No. 2: You're all racists. And now, welcome our first white presenter, Anne Hathaway! — Ellen DeGeneres (2014)

Dear Academy, I have never seen so many people with Botox in one room in my life. — Ellen DeGeneres (2014)

Django Unchained. This is the story of a man fighting to get back his woman, who's been subjected to unthinkable violence-or as Chris Brown and Rihanna call it, 'a date movie.' — Seth MacFarlane (2013)

So tonight, enjoy yourselves because nothing can take the sting out of the world's economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues. — Billy Crystal (2012)

We have Robert Downey Jr — an American who played an Australian playing an African American, nominated. Whereas I, who is an Australian who played an Australian in a movie called Australia, am hosting. — Hugh Jackman (2009)

Democrats do have a historic race going — Hilary Clinton vs. Barack Obama. Normally, when you see a black man or a woman president, an asteroid is about to hit the Statue of Liberty. — Jon Stewart (2008)

Clint Eastwood's a star, OK? Tobey Maguire's just a boy in tights! — Chris Rock (2005)

Oscar is, after all, 74 years old! He's almost old enough to get flowers from Anna Nicole Smith. Also, he is the only 74-year-old man in Hollywood who doesn't need Viagra to last three hours. — Whoopi Goldberg (2002)

Hosting is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town. — Steve Martin (2001)

This is the Academy Awards. Warning: contents may cause drowsiness; do not drive or operate heavy machinery. — David Letterman (1994)

I'm here to explain why black people will never be nominated for anything. This show is going out to 75 million people — none of them black. — Richard Pryor (1977)