Showing posts with label ellen DeGeneres. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ellen DeGeneres. Show all posts

Sunday

Funniest jokes in Oscar history

Ellen DeGeneres

Before actor Neil Patrick Harris takes the stage to host the 87th Academy Awards, we take a look back at the most humorous lines uttered by its hosts in history.

 Possibility No. 1: 12 Years A Slave wins best picture. Possibility No. 2: You're all racists. And now, welcome our first white presenter, Anne Hathaway! — Ellen DeGeneres (2014)

Dear Academy, I have never seen so many people with Botox in one room in my life. — Ellen DeGeneres (2014)

Django Unchained. This is the story of a man fighting to get back his woman, who's been subjected to unthinkable violence-or as Chris Brown and Rihanna call it, 'a date movie.' — Seth MacFarlane (2013)

So tonight, enjoy yourselves because nothing can take the sting out of the world's economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues. — Billy Crystal (2012)

We have Robert Downey Jr — an American who played an Australian playing an African American, nominated. Whereas I, who is an Australian who played an Australian in a movie called Australia, am hosting. — Hugh Jackman (2009)

Democrats do have a historic race going — Hilary Clinton vs. Barack Obama. Normally, when you see a black man or a woman president, an asteroid is about to hit the Statue of Liberty. — Jon Stewart (2008)

Clint Eastwood's a star, OK? Tobey Maguire's just a boy in tights! — Chris Rock (2005)

Oscar is, after all, 74 years old! He's almost old enough to get flowers from Anna Nicole Smith. Also, he is the only 74-year-old man in Hollywood who doesn't need Viagra to last three hours. — Whoopi Goldberg (2002)

Hosting is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town. — Steve Martin (2001)

This is the Academy Awards. Warning: contents may cause drowsiness; do not drive or operate heavy machinery. — David Letterman (1994)

I'm here to explain why black people will never be nominated for anything. This show is going out to 75 million people — none of them black. — Richard Pryor (1977)